Monday, January 9, 2012
Lit's Guide to Survival
I'm a survivor. Or I will be. It's true. Ask Bean. He caught me recently perusing this website for a survival kit for our home. He at first thought I was weird, then got worried that all my promising to him that the end of the world is NOT going to happen this year was just to appease him (which it most definitely was...shh). You see, ever since I was little I've always created emergency/disaster scenarios in my mind and tried to figure out how I would survive them. They didn't always make sense because I was like six, but I was very serious about it. Here are a couple scenarios I remember coming up with as a young first grader, and how I would survive:
SCENARIO 1: We suddenly run out of air to breathe.
SURVIVAL TACTIC: Turn on the hair dryer.
SCENARIO 2: I'm lost in the jungle with no food.
SURVIVAL TACTIC: Make butter.
Now I know I was no Survivorman, but I was trying. I also used to sharpen sticks by rubbing them on coarse sidewalk and hide them in my tree and under my bed in case we suddenly came under attack and had to protect our home. It's very possible I was not what you would call a "normal" kid.
Anyway, I still do this. Often. Not the stick thing because neighbors would think I was weird, but the disaster scenario thing. Especially late at night when I can't sleep because I'm a mom and sleep is a long lost friend I hope to see again some day when I'm like 60. Depending on the type of disaster I'm imagining there are a slew of things to consider, like do we flee to the mountains? If so, what sort of supplies and food rations will we need to survive the winter? Do we need to think about planting our own crops? How do we defend said crops from bandits? (Because you know there will surely be bandits after a major disaster). Are there zombies involved? What sort of means for communicating with other survivors will we have? Is there a radiation cloud nearby somewhere? Will we have enough water? Should I start taking some sort of martial art? And that's just the beginning. The list of things to consider just goes on and on.
So, my question is, am I the only who does this? Also, what survivor kit should I get?