Thursday, December 1, 2011


I don't cook. Well, that's not entirely true. I WILL cook, I just don't like it. Nothing about cooking is desirable to me. I have zero patience for it. There's an annoying recipe you have to follow, weird ingredients that I don't know, it takes forever and it makes a huge mess. Not fun. Now if I'm going somewhere fancy and need to impress, I'll do my part and whip up a box o' brownies. No problem. But dinner and the like, no thanks. I could literally eat take-out 100% of the time and be totally happy. However, now I have this baby (see vomit post below) who requires nutrition and such, so I've taken a little stab at cooking lately.

I take this stab at cooking about every 3-4 months or so. It lasts about 2, maybe 3 days, and I'm usually over it. My mom gets so excited when I tell her I'm on one of my cooking kicks. She instantly whips into a frenzy and starts calling me with all her "easy to make" recipes and I play my part and pretend I'm writing them down. Now, "easy to make" to me is no more than 3 ingredients. Chicken, salt, pepper. Done. Once she gets past 3 ingredients I have checked out of the conversation and start looking through my google reader. And the second she mentions the words "crock pot", I'm out. Those things always seem to need 8+ ingredients. No thanks, crock pot.

So in my latest cooking kick (which started and ended yesterday), I happened upon a drawer in our kitchen that is jammed full of strange utensils. Some of the utensils were familiar. There was a spatula, and one of those wooden sticks with a flat rubber part at the top that's good for scraping bowls when making the fancy brownies. Is that also called a spatula? I honestly can't remember. Anyway, I came across a few items as I went through the drawer yesterday that I have NO idea what they are. For serious. So maybe some of you can help.

First up we have....this:


Do not be fooled by the exciting orange color or the soft plastic look. This thing is sharp! What are you, thing?



Now this just looks inappropriate, right? What is it?!



I'm tempted to say this is a whisk, but I'm thrown off by the futuristic balls on the ends. Whisk or no?



What in the world...???

Last but not least:


A paintbrush? To be fair, it's entirely possible this found it's way into the drawer from the garage by mistake, but if that's not the case...then, why is this?


  1.! I'm going to take a stab at guessing...although honestly, outside of the last thing (which I'm only 50/50 on) I don't know what any of these things are. The first one looks like a fancy knife, especially if it's sharp. Second (this is a toughy), maybe a tool for breaking up ice? Third, I think you're right. I think that one is a fancy future whisk. Fourth, this one looks incredibly familiar, however I have absolutely not the slightest idea what it is and I can't even guess what it is. Finally, that last one is some sort of a pastry brush. I think it's used for brushing things on pastry...or something. :-)

  2. A COCKTAIL STRAINER!!! The funny one that looks familiar with the spring is a cocktail strainer!!!

  3. oh, Lauri.... serrated knife (probably best for crusty bread), knife sharpener, just a fancy whisk (at least I think), cocktail strainer (although no, I've never used one), pastry brush (I use mine to brush olive oil on refrigerator pizza crust)..

    that was fun :)

    but seriously!! crockpot + pot roast + cream of mushroom soup + water (8 hours on low) = AMAZING! and it makes it's own gravy!

    crockpot + pork loin + rootbeer/coke + water = also amazing (add bbq sauce at end for pork sandwiches)

    those only have 3 ingredients :)

    that's all..

  4. ha ha.. apparently at one point I linked my google account to a puggle blog (but never followed through)
    oops! (it's Allie)

  5. Such a fun post! I was bummed to find that someone actually knew what those things were before I could guess, lol. I hate cooking even though I have to sometimes...that crockpot and I were best friends when I was preggo. I'm going to have to try ur friends suggestions but I have another easy one: crockpot+ chicken+ a jar of salsa= yum! Super easy and less than 3 ingredients...although I use my rice maker to make RICE (lol) so I can have my salsa chicken over rice!

  6. so you want to know the easiest dinner that's still really good? i'm a terrible cook and i can do it so i know you can too. buy the marinated chicken in whatever flavor you choose at wegmans. squeeze it out of the package into a pan of sorts and bake it with whatever is says on the package. stick rice in a rice maker. and microwave some peas. simple, healthy, and tasty.

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  8. Look at all of you and your great 2/3 ingredient meals for me! Perhaps Fin will get some crock pot meals after all! Of course that means I'll have to get the crock pot out...which is a lot of work. So we'll see ;)

  9. Okay SO!

    1. Clearly some sort of knife.
    2. A knife sharpener made for KNIVES THAT AREN'T PLASTIC
    3. A whisk, wonderful for fluffy omelets and things that can be hard to combine.
    4. A cocktail strainer. I don't know why you'd need one, pour the liquor first, then the soda, whats the problem again?
    5. A basting brush! Good for any kind of meat.

  10. Also Lauri, you can make almost anything taste good if you have enough butter and spices! Have you tried chicken stir-fry with chicken-flavored ramen as the noodle/sauce base? So easy:

    Chicken breast: cook it till it's done
    Chicken ramen: cook it till it's college consistency.
    Vegetables: Chop some up.

    VOILA! A cheap, easy meal!!

  11. HAHAHAHAHA... this is the funniest post ever. I'm still laughing right now. I love what you said about "pretending to write it down"... I am SO guilty of that with my mom, too! Haha! And yes, those are wacky utensils. The ball-topped whisk is the only one that I even recognize. Well, I guess the orange thing is a knife in the technical sense... but still. Where did you get all these gadgets?!