Saturday, December 31, 2011

Happy New Year!

I have lots to post about from over the holidays, but there's no time for that right now so I'm just going to post this video of Finley from this morning. If you can ignore the gross, runny nose and the rash on her face (that is like WAY better by the way, you should have seen it before!), this video could just be cute.

I hope you all have a wonderful New Year! I have big plans for this year, and since it is the last year on earth, I plan to go out with a bang. How about you??

Tuesday, December 20, 2011

Why I don't bake

This is why I don't bake. No matter what I do, however closely I follow a recipe, my deserts just don't turn out "right". I tried to surprise Bean with some peanut butter cookies for when he came home from work today and this is what he got. One large peanut patty.


The patty was a little crispy but when accompanied by a big glass of milk, entirely edible. At least I tried, right?

Monday, December 19, 2011

Pictures with Santa!

So tonight we decided to go visit Santa at the mall and get our pictures taken. We originally tried to time it so we would get there before Santa went on break, but I had to run to UPS which was a madhouse before we left, so we got off to a late start, as per usual (see below). So we decided to go to Olive Garden ahead of time, get some din, and then go see the Santa.

The Olive Garden was dead, which was awesome because Fin has a tendency to scream, so the less people to annoy, the better. The meal was going along just fine and I had just finished exclaiming what a good eater Fin was being when I heard that familiar guttural sound followed by the choking sound that signals vomit is about to happen. I instinctively cup my hands under her chin and catch the vomit. I am amazing at catching vomit. If I ever have one of those "woe is me" days where I'm complaining that I'm not good at stuff, remind me to revisit this post to remember that vomit catching is my thing. Anyway, the waitress just happened to choose that moment to check on our table and we freeze, me with my hands full of vomit, and Bean chewing on a bread stick looking back and forth between the waitress and the vomit. We pretend nothing has happened and keep as still as possible, hoping she won't notice. She asks if she can get us anything, and we just sit there frozen and say, "Nope nope, we're good! Thanks!". She walks away but then just silently slips a stack of napkins on our table 30 seconds later. Best waitress ever.

Even with my amazing vomit catch, vomit still gets on Finley's shirt. We didn't come prepared with a backup though, so I just button up her sweater and dab her with some hand sanitizer to help cover the vomit odor and hope Santa doesn't notice.

So we get to the mall and see the line is wrapped all the way around Santa's Wonderland. We hop in line, and immediately a woman who is very clearly treading a thin line between sanity and insanity comes up to me with one hand on her hip and the other pointing at me like a scary old bitty and shrieks, "Excuse me! But the line starts BACK THERE and we were waiting here first!". Did I mention she was shaking as she said this? When people get all confrontational with me, I have this thing I do where I get super extra nice. Like when I'm driving and people give me the finger and I just smile and laugh. It's fun and throws them off. So I just apologize profusely and make a joke about how it's Monday (ah! crazy Mondays! Everyone can agree that Mondays make you crazy, right?). So we move back to the end of the line which I hadn't realized wrapped even further around Santa's Wonderland than originally thought, and wait. And wait and wait.

Soon Finley has had enough waiting and Bean and I take turns taking her for walks in circles around Santa's Wonderland. One of my favorite things about walking around places like the mall with Finley is what grabs her attention. For instance, there was a whole display of presents, and fake snow and twinkling lights and a dancing bear, but Fin only had eyes for the discarded tissue on the ground. Babies.

So it's finally our turn to see Santa, and Bean sticks Fin on his lap (as I secretly pray he can't smell her vomit-y stench) and immediately operation "get the hell out of Santa's lap" begins. Fin is not happy and Santa is struggling. And I just start laughing. Because I'm an evil mother and my child screaming on the lap of a bearded man in red is hilarious to me. The woman with the clapper behind the camera is working overtime trying to get Fin to smile but she just isn't having it. We remove Fin from Santa, and get in line to buy our photo. We spend almost $40 for the 2 images below. I'm really impressed with Santa. He really pulled it out. Fin, needs some work. Next year we'll start preparing early. Until then, I pretty much love these photos.


Friday, December 16, 2011

On being the worst mom in the world

Tonight was Finley's holiday show that her daycare was putting on. She was supposed to dress up in all white to be a snowflake and her class was going to be singing "Let It Snow". Super cute. I have been looking forward to tonight all week. It's been a ridiculously busy few months work-wise and I kept promising myself I would slow down for the holidays and enjoy them with Finley and Bean. But as the holidays have gotten closer and closer, I've just grown even more busy trying to tie up loose ends and get everything done in time for the holidays for everyone, that I've spent almost every afternoon and well into the wee hours of the night shut up in my office as Bean watches Fin in the family room. Not super fun. But tonight was to be my night with my family, to spend time with my daughter and watch her perform in her adorable little show. I was SO excited. I even got her a new skirt to wear so she would look like an extra cute snowflake.

But as per usual, I got so bogged down with finishing editing sessions, answering one last email, checking on a print order, etc. that we were late getting out the door to Finley's show. I thought it would be OK, they probably wouldn't start right away, and we would only be a few minutes late, not realizing it was rush hour and would take twice as long to get to the school. Then about halfway to the school I remembered that it wasn't actually AT the school, it was at the community center nearby and I didn't have the address. So we spent the next 10 minutes driving around looking for it, me shouting at Bean to do a better job looking it up on my phone as Finley screamed for her baba in the backseat. We finally ended up stopping at a gas station to ask where the community center was. Luckily someone in there was able to point us in the right direction and we ran into the community center a full 35 minutes late, only to find we had completely missed Finley's entire performance. I was crushed. When her teacher told us we missed it I nearly had a meltdown right there, but thankfully kept it together until Bean and I got in the car later on.

I just feel like such an awful mother. How did I let work get in the way of making her night a priority? If I wasn't so distracted with all the stuff I have on my plate, I would have been on top of having the address to the community center, we never would have been late, and we never would have missed her performance. Who is this person I've become that put work before my child? I'm like the dad in the movie Hook. You know, at the beginning before he realizes he's Peter Pan.

I just feel so conflicted all the time. Like I'm not doing either job 100% and it kills me. And tonight was just the worst. I have to assume I'm not the only working mother who feels this way. Running your own business is no joke, the hours are crazy. I love it, don't get me wrong. I never thought I'd be so lucky to be so fulfilled in my career, but is it at the expense of being a good mom?

So I'm trying to step back, stop being a blubbing mess, and evaluate what tonight showed me. And I've come up with a few things that maybe it's time to start thinking about. Like maybe it's time to think about hiring an office assistant or intern. And maybe it's time to start saying no to some jobs. (I don't have to say yes to everything, right?). And maybe it's time to take time to prioritize my life over the next few months and get rid of the excess. Because I refuse to feel like I did tonight ever again. If any of you working moms have found the solution and have all the answers, I would SO so so love to hear from you!

Anyway, to highlight how awesome the rest of the night was, here are some photos I took of Fin as we tried to make the most of it and watch the other performances. I enjoy how Bean is really trying to hold it together in that third picture. God love 'em.


I promise the next post won't be such a downer, K?

Monday, December 12, 2011

I need help!!

OK, so. It has just been revealed that Bean has gone over our limit for what we are allowed to spend on each other for Christmas by more than $100!! That is bad behavior (although easily forgiven because extra presents for me are the funnest and most readily approved of all bad behaviors). So now I need to get him something else and can't think of a thing!

I have gotten him a few gifts I think will be big winners this year, and I'm pretty excited about them. He has sworn not to read this post (on our marriage Bean! ON OUR MARRIAGE!!), so I feel that I can share that two of the big ticket gifts this year are this and these. I'm really excited about those two gifts in particular and if he doesn't like them I'll just be completely devastated. No biggie.

Anyway, I need help! If you know Bean you know he is creative and wacky and fun, but also very particular. Especially when it comes to things like the neck on shirts and in what forms he'll consume cheese. So if you have ANY ideas, pleeeeease, I'm begging you, HELP!!!

I leave you with this photo my friend Katie of Katie McMenamin Photography took of Fin this summer in the tub because it's the cutest. And every post needs a photo. No matter how unrelated. :)


What's really going on in a toddler's brain

My sister showed me this the other day and it just cracks me up. I don't think it could be any more accurate. My favorites are the Muppet Appreciation Lobe and the Worthwhile Food Cortex.


Friday, December 9, 2011

The best sound in the world

Little Fin has a fever of 102.5 right now, but I managed to get a giggle out of her for a few minutes. Shaking our heads back and forth is hilarious!!

Happy Friday!


I am in the house, alone, for the first time in as long as I can remember. And it's quiet. And wonderful. I dropped Fin off at daycare and dropped Derby off at the kennel for the weekend. And came home, to no one. It's pretty surreal right now so I thought I would quickly write about it.

There are a few things I have been able to do since coming home to an empty house that I haven't been able to do in a loooong time. I never realized I missed these things until just now.

1. I went to the bathroom, alone. I can't remember a time I ever thought this would become a novelty. I usually have a baby and a dog both vying for attention as I pee as fast as I can. I forgot what it was like to have a little privacy, and I have to say, it's pretty nice.

2. I ate an entire bowl of Cheerios. Crazy, I know. I didn't have to share with a grubby baby shouting "More!" or let a whiny pup lick the bowl at the end. They were mine, ALL MINE! Sweet, delicious O's.

3. I have on the news in the background as I write this. Real people, talking, about important things going on in the world. No red furry monsters, no word friends. People, people!

It's nice, getting to experience such luxuries. But I must admit that the longer I sit here, the more I miss my babies (one human, one furry). It's too quiet. I long for someone to whine at me.

Oh! I'm in luck. Bean just called. :)

photo by Maggie J Photography

Thursday, December 8, 2011


Sometimes I feel like this too when things don't go my way. Poor goldfish. Am I a bad mother for laughing? Probably. This is from tonight's dinner. I caught the end of one tantrum, as we smoothly transitioned right into a second tantrum. Ah, motherhood.

Wednesday, December 7, 2011

Fin's first work of art

OK, to be honest this is actually her second piece of art. Her school is keeping her first piece in her special Fin binder.


Now I'm not saying my kid is an artistic genius or anything (I mean, why overstate the obvious), but the interesting organic shapes and impeccable paint application, not to mention use of glitter to enhance the mood of the piece, really showcase her amazing talents here. Wouldn't you agree?

Friday, December 2, 2011

The Feud


So Bean and I have this ongoing feud every Christmas regarding Christopher Columbus and George Washington. What do Columbus and Washington have to do with Christmas you ask? Well I'll tell you. In the kids version of Rudoph the Red Nosed Reindeer where all the "funny" lines are added in, there is a line at the end that goes like this:

"Then how the reindeer loved him
loved him
As they shouted out with glee
Rudolph the red nosed reindeer
You'll go down in HIS-TOR-YYYY!
Like Columbus!"

or if you are Bean...
"Like George Washington!"

Now I don't know what sort of humor they are teaching kids up in north Jersey, but I can tell you that George Washington just doesn't work. His name has too many syllables, it doesn't flow with the song, and Columbus is way more historic than George Washington. He discovered America for flips sake! What did George Washington do? He was our first President you say? Eh. Back then they were letting just about anyone become President. (I'm looking at you Millard Fillmore.)

Bean adamantly disagrees. He says everyone he knows says George Washington. So we called some people he knows. He was right, they say George Washington. Which doesn't prove anything other than that they are also wrong.

So help us end this feud once and for all. We are taking a poll. What did you grow up singing??

Thursday, December 1, 2011


I don't cook. Well, that's not entirely true. I WILL cook, I just don't like it. Nothing about cooking is desirable to me. I have zero patience for it. There's an annoying recipe you have to follow, weird ingredients that I don't know, it takes forever and it makes a huge mess. Not fun. Now if I'm going somewhere fancy and need to impress, I'll do my part and whip up a box o' brownies. No problem. But dinner and the like, no thanks. I could literally eat take-out 100% of the time and be totally happy. However, now I have this baby (see vomit post below) who requires nutrition and such, so I've taken a little stab at cooking lately.

I take this stab at cooking about every 3-4 months or so. It lasts about 2, maybe 3 days, and I'm usually over it. My mom gets so excited when I tell her I'm on one of my cooking kicks. She instantly whips into a frenzy and starts calling me with all her "easy to make" recipes and I play my part and pretend I'm writing them down. Now, "easy to make" to me is no more than 3 ingredients. Chicken, salt, pepper. Done. Once she gets past 3 ingredients I have checked out of the conversation and start looking through my google reader. And the second she mentions the words "crock pot", I'm out. Those things always seem to need 8+ ingredients. No thanks, crock pot.

So in my latest cooking kick (which started and ended yesterday), I happened upon a drawer in our kitchen that is jammed full of strange utensils. Some of the utensils were familiar. There was a spatula, and one of those wooden sticks with a flat rubber part at the top that's good for scraping bowls when making the fancy brownies. Is that also called a spatula? I honestly can't remember. Anyway, I came across a few items as I went through the drawer yesterday that I have NO idea what they are. For serious. So maybe some of you can help.

First up we have....this:


Do not be fooled by the exciting orange color or the soft plastic look. This thing is sharp! What are you, thing?



Now this just looks inappropriate, right? What is it?!



I'm tempted to say this is a whisk, but I'm thrown off by the futuristic balls on the ends. Whisk or no?



What in the world...???

Last but not least:


A paintbrush? To be fair, it's entirely possible this found it's way into the drawer from the garage by mistake, but if that's not the case...then, why is this?

Typical morning with Fin

I have a throw-y up-y kid. She throws up a lot, usually in the car when we're on the highway and there's like a 2 foot wide shoulder to pull over in. This happened multiple times this past summer on our way down the shore. The best time was when we pulled over and were forced to stand in the tall grass right next to the road as we changed Fin and wiped down the car, only to discover getting back in the car that we were covered in ticks. Since we didn't realize the tick situation until we were once again driving, and there was no where else to pull over for many miles unless we wanted more ticks, we devised a plan to contain the ticks in empty water bottles. It was touch and go there for a while as I was screaming while trying to drive straight and Bean was pulling ticks off the two of us and sticking them in the water bottles. Have I mentioned how much I love my husband? Anyway, I don't know what the average amount of throw up for a kid is, so who knows, maybe Fin's normal. The doctor doesn't seem too concerned. I think she just has a weak stomach like her mom (that's me).

Anyway, the other morning I was taking a little video of Fin on my phone and got the following, which is pretty much the most awesome video ever. The timing is epic. (Note: if you don't like throw up, don't watch this video).

Wednesday, November 30, 2011

The Glow

There is a certain kind of mom I fantasize about being. You know that mom who is all put together, wearing crazy things like jewelry, high heels and skinny jeans (having returned to their pre-baby weight 2 weeks after giving birth), all while pushing their equally put together baby in their designer stroller while shopping for wonderful home items like good smelling soap? That's who I want to be. It's this recurring fantasy that I think about every night before bed. (I used to have this fantasy that involved a desert island and a coconut bikini, but I'm a mom now and this is where I'm at). However, I fall quite short of my fantasy every single day. Yup. Every one. If I get a shower (even if I'm only washing my body, not my hair), I consider the day a full on success. That's how bad it is over here.

But then I came across this website that only helped to encourage my fantasy. It's called You must check it out. THESE are the women I want to be, right on my very computer screen. I no longer need to go out to the fancy soap shops to see them. I talked to my sister about it on the phone this morning and she said, "You know their kids were probably having full on meltdowns in between these photos and half their mess is stuffed in a closet somewhere". But I didn't like her dose of reality heaped upon my fantasy. No no. These women ARE amazing.

In case you are thinking to yourself, No Lit, you ARE one of those amazingly put together, cute moms who shops for soaps (which I know, is an easy mistake to make), I present you with the following for your viewing pleasure. First up, we have the mom on the front of website:

Screen Shot 2011-11-30 at 6.03.55 PM

A few things of note. First up - that is her house. For real. Second - look at her perfectly tousled hair and cute figure (after two kids to boot!). Third - there is no dust on her table to the left there. There is a good 2 weeks worth of dust, at least, on all my furniture at all times.

And now, here is me, right now:

Photo on 11-30-11 at 5.59 PM #3

There are no words, except, that yes, that is a bag of garbage behind me.

Sooo, maybe today isn't my day to make my fantasy a reality. But there's always tomorrow, right?


Who are Lit and Bean you ask? Well I'm Lit and my husband is Bean. At least that's what we call each other. I come from a long line of nickname givers, and lucky for me Bean has been very amenable to the whole process. We do have real names, which for the sake of this post I will mention are Lauri and Mike. But if someone who I know personally calls me Lauri to my face, I get that nervous, vomit-y feeling in my stomach like they're mad at me. So going forward, I am Lit.

We also have a one and a half year old baby, Finley. She goes by many nicknames too, but will henceforth be referred to as Fin. And of course, our crazy dog, Derby, or Derbs. That's us. We're fun. And I plan on blogging about it. Sound good?
Oh and here is a picture of us (minus Derby, but he will show up in future posts for sure):

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(photo courtesy: Maggie J Photography -