Lit's Guide to Survival

I'm a survivor. Or I will be. It's true. Ask Bean. He caught me recently perusing this website for a survival kit for our home. He at first thought I was weird, then got worried that all my promising to him that the end of the world is NOT going to happen this year was just to appease him (which it most definitely was...shh). You see, ever since I was little I've always created emergency/disaster scenarios in my mind and tried to figure out how I would survive them. They didn't always make sense because I was like six, but I was very serious about it. Here are a couple scenarios I remember coming up with as a young first grader, and how I would survive:

SCENARIO 1: We suddenly run out of air to breathe.
SURVIVAL TACTIC: Turn on the hair dryer.

SCENARIO 2: I'm lost in the jungle with no food.
SURVIVAL TACTIC: Make butter.

Now I know I was no Survivorman, but I was trying. I also used to sharpen sticks by rubbing them on coarse sidewalk and hide them in my tree and under my bed in case we suddenly came under attack and had to protect our home. It's very possible I was not what you would call a "normal" kid.

Anyway, I still do this. Often. Not the stick thing because neighbors would think I was weird, but the disaster scenario thing. Especially late at night when I can't sleep because I'm a mom and sleep is a long lost friend I hope to see again some day when I'm like 60. Depending on the type of disaster I'm imagining there are a slew of things to consider, like do we flee to the mountains? If so, what sort of supplies and food rations will we need to survive the winter? Do we need to think about planting our own crops? How do we defend said crops from bandits? (Because you know there will surely be bandits after a major disaster). Are there zombies involved? What sort of means for communicating with other survivors will we have? Is there a radiation cloud nearby somewhere? Will we have enough water? Should I start taking some sort of martial art? And that's just the beginning. The list of things to consider just goes on and on.

So, my question is, am I the only who does this? Also, what survivor kit should I get?

The story of the rash

So a few days before Christmas I noticed this rash on Fin's face. I posted about it on facebook to get advice and called the doctor, but ultimately it was decided it had to do with some molars coming in and it would go away. As the week progressed it got worse and spread to her torso. By Christmas Eve it was everywhere. We were sitting in church and I could just tell she didn't feel well. I started to panic because of this episode of Oprah where Brook Shields talked about being in church with her daughter and seeing a flash of red in her daughter's eyes and feeling compelled to get it checked out only to find that if she hadn't, and her daughter hadn't had this necessary eye surgery that she would have gone blind. I could have that entire story wrong by the way. It may not even have been Brooke Shields and it's quite possible I dreamed it. But needless to say, I was worried. And Brooke Shields's story wasn't helping.

When we got home we called the doctor and got an emergency appointment for 9am Christmas morning at a different office than our usual one. So the next morning, we woke up, skipped any and all Christmas festivities and headed straight for the doctor's office. The doctor there diagnosed Fin with a yeast infection and a strep rash all over her body, and prescribed amoxicillin and two ointments for the yeast infection. The rash only got worse. It covered I would say 90% of her body at this point.

I will now show you a picture I took of it with my camera phone (which is clearly the worst camera phone in all the world):

Not good. Sooo a couple days passed and I called the doctor again. We got to see her regular physician this time and he immediately said it looked to him like some sort of allergy. We went over everything she could possibly be allergic to that was new. The only things we could come up with were the new carpet in the family room and the Christmas tree. Other than that there had been no new foods introduced (other than a taste of peanut butter the week prior). He said to give her Benedryl and keep her off the carpet and away from the tree. So we spent the next 4 days in our basement (which is finished and nice, so don't feel too bad for us).

Luckily the rash did improve and is now back to where it was probably two days before Christmas. It's very dry (she screams when we put lotion on it because it stings), and it's mostly on her torso and face. It's nothing like it was, but it's still there. It has been 2 weeks and 2 days since I first noticed the rash and over the past few days nothing has changed. So I ask you, Internet, do I schedule another appointment and have them run a blood test for allergies? Or do I just continue to let it go and see what happens? I don't want to overreact, but at the same time I want to know what it is, and if she is allergic to something, to stop her from being exposed to it. Help!

Happy New Year!

I have lots to post about from over the holidays, but there's no time for that right now so I'm just going to post this video of Finley from this morning. If you can ignore the gross, runny nose and the rash on her face (that is like WAY better by the way, you should have seen it before!), this video could just be cute.

I hope you all have a wonderful New Year! I have big plans for this year, and since it is the last year on earth, I plan to go out with a bang. How about you??

Why I don't bake

This is why I don't bake. No matter what I do, however closely I follow a recipe, my deserts just don't turn out "right". I tried to surprise Bean with some peanut butter cookies for when he came home from work today and this is what he got. One large peanut patty.



The patty was a little crispy but when accompanied by a big glass of milk, entirely edible. At least I tried, right?

Pictures with Santa!

So tonight we decided to go visit Santa at the mall and get our pictures taken. We originally tried to time it so we would get there before Santa went on break, but I had to run to UPS which was a madhouse before we left, so we got off to a late start, as per usual (see below). So we decided to go to Olive Garden ahead of time, get some din, and then go see the Santa.

The Olive Garden was dead, which was awesome because Fin has a tendency to scream, so the less people to annoy, the better. The meal was going along just fine and I had just finished exclaiming what a good eater Fin was being when I heard that familiar guttural sound followed by the choking sound that signals vomit is about to happen. I instinctively cup my hands under her chin and catch the vomit. I am amazing at catching vomit. If I ever have one of those "woe is me" days where I'm complaining that I'm not good at stuff, remind me to revisit this post to remember that vomit catching is my thing. Anyway, the waitress just happened to choose that moment to check on our table and we freeze, me with my hands full of vomit, and Bean chewing on a bread stick looking back and forth between the waitress and the vomit. We pretend nothing has happened and keep as still as possible, hoping she won't notice. She asks if she can get us anything, and we just sit there frozen and say, "Nope nope, we're good! Thanks!". She walks away but then just silently slips a stack of napkins on our table 30 seconds later. Best waitress ever.

Even with my amazing vomit catch, vomit still gets on Finley's shirt. We didn't come prepared with a backup though, so I just button up her sweater and dab her with some hand sanitizer to help cover the vomit odor and hope Santa doesn't notice.

So we get to the mall and see the line is wrapped all the way around Santa's Wonderland. We hop in line, and immediately a woman who is very clearly treading a thin line between sanity and insanity comes up to me with one hand on her hip and the other pointing at me like a scary old bitty and shrieks, "Excuse me! But the line starts BACK THERE and we were waiting here first!". Did I mention she was shaking as she said this? When people get all confrontational with me, I have this thing I do where I get super extra nice. Like when I'm driving and people give me the finger and I just smile and laugh. It's fun and throws them off. So I just apologize profusely and make a joke about how it's Monday (ah! crazy Mondays! Everyone can agree that Mondays make you crazy, right?). So we move back to the end of the line which I hadn't realized wrapped even further around Santa's Wonderland than originally thought, and wait. And wait and wait.

Soon Finley has had enough waiting and Bean and I take turns taking her for walks in circles around Santa's Wonderland. One of my favorite things about walking around places like the mall with Finley is what grabs her attention. For instance, there was a whole display of presents, and fake snow and twinkling lights and a dancing bear, but Fin only had eyes for the discarded tissue on the ground. Babies.

So it's finally our turn to see Santa, and Bean sticks Fin on his lap (as I secretly pray he can't smell her vomit-y stench) and immediately operation "get the hell out of Santa's lap" begins. Fin is not happy and Santa is struggling. And I just start laughing. Because I'm an evil mother and my child screaming on the lap of a bearded man in red is hilarious to me. The woman with the clapper behind the camera is working overtime trying to get Fin to smile but she just isn't having it. We remove Fin from Santa, and get in line to buy our photo. We spend almost $40 for the 2 images below. I'm really impressed with Santa. He really pulled it out. Fin, needs some work. Next year we'll start preparing early. Until then, I pretty much love these photos.

What's really going on in a toddler's brain

My sister showed me this the other day and it just cracks me up. I don't think it could be any more accurate. My favorites are the Muppet Appreciation Lobe and the Worthwhile Food Cortex.

The best sound in the world

Little Fin has a fever of 102.5 right now, but I managed to get a giggle out of her for a few minutes. Shaking our heads back and forth is hilarious!!



Happy Friday!